Exercising The Power of Choice to Reduce Stress Around the Holidays
When the holidays come, people are driven to connect – while this can be healthy, it can also be devastating to those who are trying to change their lives. For example, recovering from addiction, cleaning up eating habits, living mindfully – all of these things can be sabotaged by the presence of people who “knew you when…” But they don’t have to be!
William James, the American author who is known as the “father of modern psychology” believed and wrote about the power of personal choice in shaping one’s destiny – which included, as it always has and always will, the uncomfortable luxury of making difficult decisions.
“We are spinning our own fates, good or evil, and never to be undone.”
Simply put, in other words, that each human has the power of free will and choice. What we do not have is the power to control the consequences of our choices. So, the power we have as humans is in the beginning of the process, in the choosing.
1 Choose not to host the holidays. Give yourself permission to take a pass this year; even if you have always done it… especially if you have always done it.
2 Choose to delegate. Delegating requires letting go of control a little bit. This is very uncomfortable for some people, but it must be done in order for others to step up. Take a deep breath, delegate and let others help you, and let the little things go!
3 Choose to protect your space. If you are going to someone’s house for the holidays, consider staying at a nearby hotel – this way, you’ll have somewhere to go if things get stressful. You can stock your room’s mini fridge with snacks and foods, too!
4 Choose to initiate activity. Take a walk after a big meal and invite others to join you! Everyone will benefit from the fresh air and exercise!
Ways to Avoid or Reduce the Holiday Blues
Would you be surprised if I told you that in this time of “thanksgiving” and this time of “joy” that depression & loneliness are daily experiences for many people? If you are someone who experiences the “holiday blues” — you are not alone. Statistics show that depression, isolation, loneliness, and grief all manifest themselves during the period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s for many people.
According to the website healthline.com, one big contributor to holiday depression is the media’s bombardment of images showing smiling families and excited, well-dressed friends who apparently go to glitzy parties every night of the holiday season. The images shown on TV are all so clean, bright and so filled with light and joy that no one could ever hope to compete or keep up – our lives seem dull by comparison.
Taking care of yourself means eating the right foods, avoiding the wrong foods, exercising regularly, keeping up with spiritual practices that feed the soul, and getting enough water and sleep. Did you know that a mere 30 minutes of aerobic exercise can pump up your endorphins as much as taking an anti-depressant? This is especially hard for moms I think. They tend to be the ones responsible for all the shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, etc. But mom, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be around to take care of others!
One of the biggest predictors of holiday depression (according to experts in the field of mental health) is social isolation. Millions of people have lost loved ones to death, divorce, or through the breakup in family and love relationships. At a time where home and family is so celebrated, the pain of loneliness can seem much keener than at any other time. As humans, we can’t avoid loneliness— it is a fact of the human condition. But we have a choice as to whether to remain socially isolated or not. There are many ways to connect through church, community, online communities, and the like; but we need to be willing to look past our own pain and invite others to share our lives.
In the process of volunteering, you will also find your joy. Doing the right thing for the right reason inevitably brings joy. Giving of your time is the most sacrificial thing to do, because as Benjamin Franklin said, “Time is the stuff of life.” It is our most precious commodity.
Simple Ways to Take Stress Out of the Holidays
Spending time with family during the holidays ranks as one of the most stressful events of the year. Many different aspects contribute to this stress—too much noise, too little exercise, eating the wrong foods that trigger mood swings, boredom, comparisons, jealousy, personal conflict with family members, overspending financially, and so on. If you want to change your stress level, you must change your actions; because, “if you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting.”
1 Take long walks in nature. Nature has a way of silently speaking volumes about time, mortality & what really matters.
2 Get up early & work out. If you do, your body will send hundreds of chemicals from your joints to your brain that will tell your brain to relax. Exercise can also greatly help with insomnia & depression by the release of endorphins.
3 Forgive past hurts. You have nursed that grudge with your mother-in-law, for example, for twenty years – Isn’t it time to let it go? Chronic stress can be caused from underlying roots of bitterness and anger. By forgiving, we take control of the situation instead of letting it control us. Most chronic stress is caused by the feeling that we are not in control of our lives.
4 Continue to change your views, attitudes & habits. Trying new things, seeing situations from a different perspective, visiting new places; these endeavors keep us young, and break our stress patterns because they get us out of our routines and cause us to wake up and use parts of our brains that have fallen asleep.
5 Stop expecting the holidays at your house to look like they do on TV. You believe that if you just try a little harder, spend more money, get more ideas off of Pinterest, or whatever, that someday you will achieve the perfect, flawless holiday. But look around you. This holiday is not flawless, but in its own way, it is perfect.
6 Spend time contemplating the real reason for the season. Even if you aren’t religious, you have probably built holiday traditions based on personal values that include love for family and friends, generosity, and joy. The point is get back to the reason for the season, and don’t let it stress you out!
Emergency Stress Fixes
You’re a week into the Christmas vacation, and you’ve done all the preparations, bakes, sewed, decorated, shopped, wrapped, hidden the presents, decorated the tree; and you are sitting at your child’s school play or choir performance, but you are a million miles away. All this that you have created, and yet you can’t wait for it all to be done so you can stopped being stressed out! You’re on the right track when you realize that stress is a silent killer, and you should be aware of tension and stress during the holidays. Here are a few suggestions that can be done “on the fly” when you feel your body or brain getting stressed out.
Breathe in lemon, orange or mango — If possible, obtain high quality essential oils in these basic formulas. These particular scents have been shown to relieve stress and give a strong sense of well-being and calm.
Don’t drink caffeine on an empty stomach — It’s better to eat a meal or snack first to avoid the spike in blood sugar that occurs when caffeine hits your system. After the blood sugar spike, you can expect to feel jittery and irritated. This isn’t a good combination if you are trying to avoid stress.
Turn off your electronic devices — The reason airlines make you turn off your electronic devices is that they interfere with vital signals coming from the airport tower, from other flight crews, and from their own internal controls. The wise person will look at that and make the analogy that constantly being on alert to the “pings” of electronic alerts, calls, texts, tweets, Facebook alerts, game alerts…on and on, creates a type of hypervigilance that triggers the stress mechanism in our brains. If you truly want a day of rest, turn off the electronic devices.
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